To Plot A Heist
Weekly Wrap - 10/26
I am knee deep in gradschool applications. Too deep. So deep that I can’t really see the top of the precipice anymore. I am the modern Sisyphus. Except my boulder is academic statements of purpose and biographical expressions on “what in your life has made this program is right for you”. I am so deeply excited to never write another statement of purpose (until I apply for a PHD program if I ever get around to that). Either way, I continue to roll my rock up the hill and unlike Sisyphus I will eventually be done with the boulder pushing.
Watching:
My partner and I caught the new Kelly Reichardt film The Mastermind this week. I have a fairly positive relationship to Reichardt’s work. She isn’t my favorite director but certainly one that I try to catch everything she makes. I was introduced to her slow meandering style through First Cow and have since gone back through her filmography.
My favorite aspect of her work, and what is strongest in her newst film, is the way that her writing style is able to be directly supported by the images she creates. I would describe Reichardt’s work broadly to be a study of mood more than anything else, and in The Mastermind the mood she is exploring is ennui. Josh O’Conner plays the part of James, the husband, the father, the college eduacated but unemployed semi-loser (as if he was less handsome he would probably just be a full blown loser). You can feel his listlessness, his furver to feel something seemingly spurned by his boardom. I would, if I could, have Josh be in all of Reichardt’s films going forward for he fit her atmsphereirc world building perfectly. He brings just the right amount of charm to her plodding and meandering storytelling to make you connect to the story just that little bit deeper. James plans a terribly thought out hiest,s seemingly just because he doesn’t have a job and has the time to do it. His wife will drive the kids to school while he walks out to get the newspaper in his underwear. O’Conner delivers every step of the story, and his sadness, the sort that twinges the eyes of all of this characters is played beautifully here. While The Mastermind wont be on my fav's of the year list it is certainly a film I am happy to return to, whenver I find my way back.
Reading:
I have genuinely read nothing but my own aforementioned statements, both my purpose and biography. Neither is particularly interesting. But a pattern that I have noticed developing from my reading, and re-reading, and writing, and re-writing is that I have a proclivity to over express the same event from a variety of different viewpoints. It’s as if I am attempting to take crime scene photographs of the thoughts that I have within my mind. Seeking to gain insight through the act of overly detailed categorization of a thing. Perhaps that is just the way people are. We overanalyze, we make assumptions, and we may be leading ourselves down the wrong pathway of thought without realizing it. Thus, we take actions to protect against that by studying the same thing over and over. Turning it this way and that so as to finally see it from the angle that will be the most illuminating. If I get one thing out of these personal essays its both an appreciation and possibly an apprehension for my own tendency for mental reorientation.
Albuming:
I have a new take on “The Album”. Spurred, by my coffee shops rule to only play full albums, which I feel like has given me multiple insights and albums that have come up in this newsletter, is the feeling that the albums can only be truly personlaly great if they suceed at two almost opposite acitivies. First, that they are fantastic to listen to if you want to listen closely and carefully, either singing along to each word or just really listening to the song writing. And second, that they can be listened to without needing to really focus on them at all, as background, as soundtrack to your own life, and have them give you the feeling you would recieve if you were to be listening closely.
My submission for an album that does both of these things:
P*:
P is for postseason. A dejected and devastated postseason. While it isn’t offically over yet as this will post the day after game two of the world series between the dodgers and blujays. Unfortunately I was dealt some real baseball heartbreak by the bluejays coming back down 3-2 over the Mariners. Obviously I have never seen them make it to the world series because they have never made it that last step. So rather than just wallow in my baseball fandom pain forever I wanna highlight some of my favorite moments from this past posteason.
Eugenio Suarez hitting this Grand Slam in game 5 of the ALCS.
The cubs 6-0 defeat of the Brewers in the nlds game 4 where my partner and I drank a lot of beer at the local dive bar watching them win.
THE Shoei Ohtani game, 10k’s 6innings pitched, 2 hits allowed and he hit 3 homeruns. We will all never see a better game played in the sport than this, unless Ohtani outdoes himself. Already the GOAT.
The mariners 15 inning win over the tigers to send them to the ALCS.
There were so many incredible moments and this postseason has been a really enjoyable watch. I will morn the fact my boys on both the American League and National league.
Wrapping Up:
This time next week I will hopefully be 75% of the way through my applications. If I am not, than pray for me, because I will be in the freaking pits. I am already nervous to hear back from programs I am yet to apply to but I am equally as excited to be finished with these monstrousities. I think that to some degree they make these applications purposefully convuluated in the process it takes to apply to them to say as to weed out the “weak”. It probably, like a lot of academia has classisct origins but stll, I just want to be finished, accepted, and on my way, IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK? Ily guys, enjoy ur week.